ask-loony-lovegood:
justinbiebersexualfrustration:
One day Justin Bieber invited me over for dinner. I helped set the table and sat down. I looked down at my empty plate. “So…where’s the food?” I asked. He smiled slyly and said “right here” He got up on the table and removed his pants. Then he slowly took off his boxers. I saw his erected penis and gasped. He walked towards my plate and bent down. He spread apart his ass and pushed and grunted. A perfectly shaped, brown log lay on the white plate. It had corn seeds in it. He stood up and got the cup beside me. The grabbed his penis and pissed in the cup. He put on all his clothes again and sat across from me. He sat down and pressed his hands together “Eat it” he commanded.
I took my fork and knife and started cutting the shit into bite size pieces. I stabbed a piece with my fork and slowly brought it to my mouth. I looked at him, he was staring intently at me. I started chewing on it, it was really chewy. The corn seeds made the crap hard but it gave it a nice flavor. I drank his pee pee, it was kind of like lemonade. Why was Justin torturing me? I didn’t want to eat shit for our first date. I wanted a nice romantic dinner. After I was done eating he laughed and brought out the REAL dinner I was supposed to eat. It was a nice turkey dinner. We ate it and talked then after we had the most mind blowing sex ever.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA WHAT
…I am traumatized for life.
